Message Received

After a long wait for news on the progress of our adoption we finally went to the agency to inquire on our position in the line of potential parents. By this point we had been rather passive in our efforts to push things forward. For the previous nine months, we tried to organise all of the little things that we could get done for international adoption, but all of it seemed to have very little effect in helping our spirits. At this point, our full wait count was up to 15 months and our thoughts of parenthood seemed to be fading into the background. We made out appointment with the head of the agency and prepared ourselves with the possibility of having to move programs. We knew that friends of ours who started their adoption process ahead of us managed to complete their home study, enter the local program, and then while on vacation have a child placed with them. As happy as we were for them, it did little to lift our spirits in hopes of our own adoption. Armed with our computer in hand, we entered the agency office hoping for a possible solution to our situation.

We sat down with the Executive Director of the agency and told him how we were feeling. He looked at us with compassionate eyes but could do little to provide us with any hard fast details that told us that our adoption would take place. He gave us the name of a man and his agency in the US and told us that adopting from the US was very similar to domestic adoptions, save for the extra red tape that would have to be dealt with since it was, afterall, another country. We then told him that we wanted to enter the local pool of adoptive parents even though we knew that the likelihood of local adoption was slim at best. He reminded us of what we had to get in order, which we had already prepared on our little computer, and told us that the head of the local adoption was coming in later if we would like to come back later and speak with her. It sounded like a good idea and this task of preparation gave us another focus to make us feel like there was some progress.

I remember leaving the agency and heading back to our car thinking of all of the things that we had to get printed. Once we started driving we headed toward the closest office box store that we could print what we needed and purchase all of the necessary glitzy folder to place everything into. However, for some reason I took a road that was slower than the highway. We didn't actually have anywhere to be or any time constraints that we were bound to, but I think the fact that we had a couple of iced americanos and were anxious to get this job done did not help to keep the cool. The drive seemed long and out of the way, but eventually we got the job done, and heading back to the agency office with all of our goodies in hand we felt as though we had accomplished something small that would hopefully turn out to be something big.

While we sat in the agency office talking with the executive director again, he told us that the head of the local adoption program had just come in. Our eyes and ear perked up. It wasn't that we were expecting her to have a baby iin her arms that she was just going to hand over to us, but rather that she might be another set of ears that might listen to us and perhaps one day remember our story and tell it to a mother who was looking to place her baby.

We sat in the office for a few minutes exchanging a few words and making the odd joke to sooth our anxious feelings. The head of the program walked in and gave us a look of surprise and happiness. She smiled and said, "It's funny that you should be here today." Funny? Why funny? We looked at her like puppy dogs who didn't understand what you were trying to tell them. "I just passed on your home study to a young girl and her family last night." Our hearts started to flutter and our eyes must have looked very hopeful because she said to us "Now don't get too excited. I know that you did not officially sign up for the local adoption pool but this young woman asked us if we had any other home studies that she could look through because she was not satisfied with the ones we were able to show her. She specifically requested a mixed race couple and the two of you came to mind." We must still have been looking hopeful because she then said, "Just remember. This is only a nibble. Nibbles are good. Some people don't even get nibbles. Who knows? She may call for you or she may not."

The following is a prayer that I used when I found myself having to do staff prayer at my school. I teach at a Catholic Independent school and each Wednesday morning the staff gather in prayer for silent meditation, to collect our thoughts, and pray for those in need. My turn came following the weekend when my wife and I decided to adopt. I ran a random search of the online bible using the word adoption and came up with Moses's story. How could one forget the famous biblical story of one of the most well known biblical figures of the old testament. It may be one of the more famous adoption stories of all time. Shortly after reading it, I felt reassured that our decision to adpopt was the right one.

The following is the prayer I presented.


Exodus 2:5-10

5 Then Pharaoh's daughter went down to the Nile to
bathe, and her attendants were walking along the
river bank. She saw the basket among the reeds and
sent her slave girl to get it. 6 She opened it and saw
the baby. He was crying, and she felt sorry for him.
"This is one of the Hebrew babies," she said.
7 Then his sister asked Pharaoh's daughter, "Shall I
go and get one of the Hebrew women to nurse the
baby for you?"
8 "Yes, go," she answered. And the girl went and got
the baby's mother. 9 Pharaoh's daughter said to her,
"Take this baby and nurse him for me, and I will pay
you." So the woman took the baby and nursed him.
10 When the child grew older, she took him to
Pharaoh's daughter and he became her son. She
named him Moses, [a] saying, "I drew him out of the
water."


Over the past few months my wife and I have been undergoing tests to see about having children, and after many tests and visits, we were informed by our doctor that we may never have children of our own.

As you can imagine it was probably one of the worst days we have shared together. Questions swirled in our heads. Doubt and sadness became the umbrella that was held over us. Both of us quietly creeping through the families of our friends, conversations and news of children and pregnancies, all of which we shared in rejoicing, but also breathing a longing sigh quietly to each other.

Despite our deep sadness, all could not be lost. We decided that we needed to look amongst our own reeds and search for a basket that has been sent up stream. We recently decided to tell as many people as we knew about our desire to adopt because we realized that there is a baby out there who feels the same about the search for his or her own parents.

Perhaps all people need to stop and look for these kinds of bundles around them when they feel as though they have been shrouded in darkness. Reaching out to those around them only create nets that can help catch those who are in need.
During this Lenten time perhaps we need to listen to the difficult messages God sends us and learn to embrace his hidden message of hope and joy being sent down stream, instead of hearing only that which we want to.

Intentions
Let us pray that all potential parents and babies searching for each other eventually find their way to each other.
For this we pray to the Lord.